Campus was taken over by the club fair today. I took some notes. These ones were the most interesting. They might not also exist, but that is not very important.
Bridge Club - It's just two guys playing bridge at their table. They are both obviously well into their seventies but they are both wearing doo rags and retro Phillies jerseys. One starts using his doo rag as a napkin. He places it on his lap to collect crumbs. Nobody will say anything for several hours.
Bridge Club - It's just two guys playing bridge at their table. They are both obviously well into their seventies but they are both wearing doo rags and retro Phillies jerseys. One starts using his doo rag as a napkin. He places it on his lap to collect crumbs. Nobody will say anything for several hours.
The Leo Tolstoy Re-enactment Society - They are doing a re-enactment as you pass by. There is a chair and a small table atop their table, and there is a man sitting there, writing with a quill pen. He is dressed strangely, and his long, white beard is fake. It is not a very good fake beard, it does not look believable. They used to have a better fake beard, but the last club president took it with him when he graduated. He is in Red Deer now and the cost of shipping is prohibitive. The man is re-enacting the writing of Anna Karenina. They will tell you this if you ask though it should be obvious.
Lactose Intolerant Society - They were a support group once but now they are more like a para-military guerrilla assault force. There are line ups in front of their table. They are barbecuing several hundred pounds of dairy cow. It is free if you are willing to join their mailing list and renounce milk.
The 1228 Association - They meet every other Sunday. They are only concerned with the year 1228 AD, though exceptions are generally made so that they may celebrate the birthday of Pope Nicholas IV, which, as is generally known, occurred in 1227. The 1228 Association shows its appreciation through many forms; re-enactments, theatrical productions, debates and interpretive dance of course being the most common.
Anti Dadaist Defense League - Just a single woman alone at the booth, painting simple, but elegant horses on plain white paper. There are several of them finished, and they are displayed prominently and each has a price, ranging from $3 to $350. If you ask to buy one, she will stop her drawing and she will tell you to fuck off, do you think you are funny?
Edamame Appreciation Society - It is a couple guys and girls sitting at this table. The men have not shaved and the women wear tie-dye bandanas. They eat the beans raw. They eat them by throwing them high and catching them with their mouths. They toss some to passers by. They have recipes hand written on
small, colourful cue cards. They are not lima beans, they shout.
The Motorcycle Club - It is every guy you thought was a dick in high school. They all have motorcycles now. They don't drive them, they don't know how, but they sit there on their bikes revving their engines. They will do this for two hours. They are available for events.
A Club Called Wanda - They organize weekly screenings of A Fish Called Wanda. It is not complicated. They no longer serve fish and chips. They do not think you are funny when you sneak it in. Each screening concludes with a group discussion. Planned topics include, "Stephen Fry: Could his Cameo Have
Been Longer?" "Proper Aquarium Maintenance , Tips and Tricks" and "Kevin Kline v. Michael Palin: Who Deserved the Oscar?"
The Grouchist-Marxist Times - This is not a real newspaper. You cannot join them. It is just four business students wearing spotted bow ties and fake mustaches. Their table sits across from the Marxist-Leninist Workers' Press. The four students have learned the Stalinist era Soviet Anthem for the occasion. They will quickly grow bored.
Sprite Club - The people at this table are actors. They are paid for by the Coca-Cola Corporation. The actors hand out free lemon lime flavoured soft drinks. You will pretend that the actors are interested in you as a human being. You will return three times and you will get a new Sprite time every time because they don't remember you, they don't care. They do not even drink Sprite. They are people who read ingredient labels.
Young Conservatives of Canada - An unexpected offshoot of the Engineering department's Robotics program, The Young Conservatives do not accept new members composed of organic compounds. You can try to fool them, but they will know. They have tests. They will break a small dog's neck in front of
your eyes. They will not cry. If you are lucky one will show you its shiny metallic heart.
Lactose Intolerant Society - They were a support group once but now they are more like a para-military guerrilla assault force. There are line ups in front of their table. They are barbecuing several hundred pounds of dairy cow. It is free if you are willing to join their mailing list and renounce milk.
The 1228 Association - They meet every other Sunday. They are only concerned with the year 1228 AD, though exceptions are generally made so that they may celebrate the birthday of Pope Nicholas IV, which, as is generally known, occurred in 1227. The 1228 Association shows its appreciation through many forms; re-enactments, theatrical productions, debates and interpretive dance of course being the most common.
Anti Dadaist Defense League - Just a single woman alone at the booth, painting simple, but elegant horses on plain white paper. There are several of them finished, and they are displayed prominently and each has a price, ranging from $3 to $350. If you ask to buy one, she will stop her drawing and she will tell you to fuck off, do you think you are funny?
Edamame Appreciation Society - It is a couple guys and girls sitting at this table. The men have not shaved and the women wear tie-dye bandanas. They eat the beans raw. They eat them by throwing them high and catching them with their mouths. They toss some to passers by. They have recipes hand written on
small, colourful cue cards. They are not lima beans, they shout.
The Motorcycle Club - It is every guy you thought was a dick in high school. They all have motorcycles now. They don't drive them, they don't know how, but they sit there on their bikes revving their engines. They will do this for two hours. They are available for events.
A Club Called Wanda - They organize weekly screenings of A Fish Called Wanda. It is not complicated. They no longer serve fish and chips. They do not think you are funny when you sneak it in. Each screening concludes with a group discussion. Planned topics include, "Stephen Fry: Could his Cameo Have
Been Longer?" "Proper Aquarium Maintenance , Tips and Tricks" and "Kevin Kline v. Michael Palin: Who Deserved the Oscar?"
The Grouchist-Marxist Times - This is not a real newspaper. You cannot join them. It is just four business students wearing spotted bow ties and fake mustaches. Their table sits across from the Marxist-Leninist Workers' Press. The four students have learned the Stalinist era Soviet Anthem for the occasion. They will quickly grow bored.
Sprite Club - The people at this table are actors. They are paid for by the Coca-Cola Corporation. The actors hand out free lemon lime flavoured soft drinks. You will pretend that the actors are interested in you as a human being. You will return three times and you will get a new Sprite time every time because they don't remember you, they don't care. They do not even drink Sprite. They are people who read ingredient labels.
Young Conservatives of Canada - An unexpected offshoot of the Engineering department's Robotics program, The Young Conservatives do not accept new members composed of organic compounds. You can try to fool them, but they will know. They have tests. They will break a small dog's neck in front of
your eyes. They will not cry. If you are lucky one will show you its shiny metallic heart.
