write something positive

i stopped writing here for awhile. this was my place to moan about the hardships of higher education and my deficient work ethic and my burning desire to throw it all away and live an ascetic life on top of a mountain.

but then something happened. i got motivated again. i figured out what i liked and what i didn't like, and then started doing more of the former and less of the latter. life made sense, almost, and i regained some of the comforting linearity that had protected me through much of high school. i don't want to say i was a man possessed because my grades weren't that great and i didn't suddenly become class valedictorian. and i'm still not sure what i want to do when i graduate, but i have vague ideas that are gradually coalescing into coherent shapes and paths and things seem, i don't know, not hopeless, anymore.

things could be better but things could be worse too. i'm going to graduate within the next 12 months and then the world will be before me like an open flower, ready to be sucked dry of its precious nectar. yes. i think i am a bee in this metaphor, and the world is my flower. which makes more sense than "oyster" because oysters have hard shells and look like boogers. but i digress.

i don't know if i'll continue writing here. i usually forget it exists, and i use facebook now as an outlet for my bad jokes. but i recognize the need to write candidly on subjects divers. one day this blog will be one my few connections to my younger, handsomer self. perhaps instead i will write more, not less. perhaps instead, i will start a new blog. i haven't done that in awhile and i have always wanted a tumblr.