slow descent into alcoholism

i don't understand alcoholism. i don't know what it is but the idea of using alcohol as some sort of crutch is just so far out of my frame of reference. i've self-diagnosed myself with an addictive personality but i can't picture myself abusing alcohol. maybe its because i only currently drink socially and maybe its because alcohol usually just makes me sleepy but i can't see any way for me to do it. i think i have to many hang-ups around booze. like the idea of drinking alone seems like the saddest thing. like if i'm drinking alone to get drunk i've already lost so many battles to get there that the alcoholism is probably just one of any number of concurrent problems