The job is great. This isn't about that. I asked out a girl that I like and she said no and now I'm full of a sort of manic energy and I'm channeling that energy this way because what else am I going to do with it? Talk it out? I'm not depressed but there is a little bit of heart-saddness going on. It's not as bad as I thought it would be I guess. These things happen. She was cool about it.
I guess what I liked about this experience and what I will try to take away and build on was the directness of it all. Hey do you want to go on a date with me? No, well ok. End scene. No ambiguity as to my intentions. No ambiguity as to hers. I'll figure this shit out. Everyone else seems to get by ok. I've always felt like I'm just missing just the one puzzle piece that will make starting a relationship make sense to me.
It's bumming me out because I wouldn't have asked her out if I had really thought she was going to say no. Actually I don't know. The last few days a feeling was building up in me that I needed to do this, ask her out, ask someone out, do it now, do it now or never do it ever. Hooray for small personal accomplishments. So what I've learned: I am capable of asking girls out and then not self-immolating when they turn me down. This is important because before this I didn't have definitive proof either way.
Ah bloo bloo hoo no one cares I'll survive. I should write about my job soon tell you about that whole thing. Short version: It's great! Couldn't be better. Everything is going as well as I could have ever hoped for. I'm slowly getting my adult life together. Having a full-time job that you love makes everything else in life seem that much more manageable. Me asking a girl out is directly connected to having this job, and not just because I met her at work. 2015 is shaping up to be a good year. Will this be the year I get my personal and emotional life together? Can I have it all??? Stay tuned.
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