lean in

We were waiting for the bus that would take her home on Saturday and in the moment it became so agonizingly clear that this was the moment to kiss her. Nothing had been more important or more obvious in my life before. I felt very clearly that I stood on a precipice, that two options were laid out before me. One was safety and the known, the other involved flinging myself off the cliff and into this other person.

I smiled (like, but in a charming way) and leaned in and said "Do you want to try this?"

And then we kissed. It was terrifying and momentous and absolutely right and only a little awkward.

Last night was even better. I think this is a real thing going on between us. I sense no hesitation from her and I want to match that. I want to live up to it. I've never had this connection with another person before, physically or emotionally. Feeling desired by a person you desire is an amazing drug. It feels like an impossible thing, two people coming together.

(Just for the record, I don't think "Do you want to try this is?" is like an amazing line that needs to be remembered and studied, but it is the thing that I said in the moment and as such has some value, for me personally. Though I don't know, in the context of who I am and what I'm about and where we were standing and everything that had come before us leading up to that moment, maybe it was the perfect thing to say??)